Dear My Love,

I remember your last request. I remember how much you loved me. And how much I love you. Everytime morning comes and this body must wake, I think of how we could have grown old together. Holding hands like the first date we never had. You would move close to me, afraid of people someday harming you. So I would step aside so I would between you and the world.

But you're gone now.

I can't smell your hair on my face, or touch your soft cheek when you cry. You can't hold me when I need to hear your voice. It feels like you cheated on me with death. Death now holds you tight in their arms, leaving me empty inside my beating heart. A heart which slowly becomes numb and can only feel pain. You speak to death now, instead of me.

Death was kinder, Death was sweeter.

So I was ditched holding the last breath where I hugged you tight. Maybe I left you alone, and I probably did something wrong.  But was it so harmful that you had to leave me? My life seems to twirl softly, slowly making me dizzy, and sick. A spinning ripple pulling my body smoothly until my stomach becomes ill. My eyes won't stop crying, my tears won't stop falling. It isn't fair.

And now people don't understand.

They want me to move on, not knowing the pain and sorrow. The lonely guilty nights.  My hands begin to shake and my eyelids quiver, tears begin to form. They say I should go out and have fun, but there's no fun to be had when my limbs can't move and my lungs give out. My heart begins to sweat, my body tenses.  
They make plans and invite me, they tell me it'll be okay. They treat me like it never happened, like they don't know the pain. As if it was a memory now forgotten. They don't know.

So my mind leaves them.

I can't do it. They will never understand. Never again. Their morning is here, as my night begins. I soon start forgetting the sound of a voice. And your picture stays with me so I'll remember every feature. I replay your videos to remember your movement. I listen to your cds to remember your likes. But my dark room is still dark. My light left me, and my body becomes numb.

But the worst part is. No one understands, and you're still gone.

~With every drop of love Left
       This is his request.


come back to me, light.